Tag Archives: life

A vee tale, maybe not !

So my friend actually had requested sort of for a vee tale and the last one wasn’t exactly a vee tale. It was just my observation of the world that we are currently living in. children have facebook and twitter accounts before they are born pretty cool? I don’t think so. Anyway so I went on and on about that yesterday and I’m not going to today. Really speaking there is nothing much going on in my life. I mean there are my friends and there is college and stuff but nothing really happening. As I write this all I am thinking is that I feel that my life is fun and happening only if there is a romance angle to it? Is there nothing to my life without the tales of some guy whisking me of feet and then well that not ending too well (that does provide for weeks of thinking). You know first the liking and then the dating then the break up and then the getting over it process. Time consuming I would say. Considering that we start dating at average age of 17-18 and consistently change boyfriends for the next few years then this is the drill that we get used to.  In all of this I think we get so used to this being meaning of life and time consolidate our thought process. Only recently have I chanced upon an idyllic time in my life where I have no guy to think about past or present and I am not interested in thinking about the future. But I am so used to associating the awesome quotient in my  life with love that I forgot one basic thing: the person living this life is me and what I do in a day or not do is what makes my life not when someone decides to give me attention because I look nice. After being asked ‘are you single?’ a gazillion times I thought that that’s what defined the quality of my life. I guess only now do I realize that it is not so.

                       With no guy in the picture to think about (this is not an invitation for losers to ask me out, sorry im not available I happen to be more into me now, thank you anyway) I have had time for myself. Not that I didn’t spend time with myself earlier it’s just that it’s an awesome feeling when my mind is not thinking about anyone in particular (loving or hating that person). I have me and my friends and my family to think about. They make my life. I was always so caught up that I didn’t realize the friends that I had left behind and it was my fault. I was too busy thinking about other things and then it just got embarrassing. It is only now that I realized that I actually did miss this person every now and then, I loved shopping for bangles with her. We hung out at JATC and just sat and read together (a reading companion is a rare one trust me). I didn’t realize how much I missed out on in the process of being just caught up in everything else. Time just flew by but when I had time not thinking about other random and stupid things I realized that I cannot treat people like this. Every one tends to at some point but one cannot just cut off all contact with friends because things are rough, that is when you are supposed to reach out to them. Anyway I am an idiot and took time but I am glad I did something. Made me realize that if you had a bond earlier and were genuinely sorry there are chances of becoming friends again. I always thought I should do something but never knew what to. Turns out it took just an email writing what I felt, well that felt good and I am glad I did it. The point being I am happy I am out of that circus and crazy circular pointless thought process and happy I may have managed to rectify some old mistakes. Take some time out and think about yourself the person you love is not the only thing that makes your life awesome. It’s the people who are with you that person is not around that matter. Look around and do not let them go, they are special and we must all keep it that way ..

Again not another vee tale as I would I have liked it to be, I thought ill write about the awesome drinking sessions and the crazy times but then I guess fun is not the only thing in life. Sometimes thinking and acting makes sense. I tend to procrastinate all the time even when there is no need as more time passes it is more difficult for me to get back to it. I am glad I didn’t do that again. So I guess it’s the season of realizations and changes to be made. And damn I thought with all that time I would be drinking a lot more. Hope I do, so that I have crazy stories to tell (till then deal with realizations).

Yours blankly,

VEE.

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Story of my life !

The days were spent

In utter darkness

The evening

Dimly lit

The night was armed with

Bright lights

This was the story of my life.

 

The days reminded me

Of memories and people

Long gone.

The evening not so much

For I spent them with new people

Different experiences

And nights

Were the most glorious

For I spent them alone

Immersed in thoughts

Of me

And they were the brightest part

Of my life

This was the story of my life.

 

Then life took a turn and

Everything changed

The days spent in brightness

With people new and different

The evenings are still dimly lit

With old friends

And fun conversations

And nights are spent

As are they are meant to be

Sleeping in the arms

Of the beautiful darkness.

And now

This is the story of my life!!

 

(this is one of my old poems i recently found)

 

VEE.

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Bag of Memories !

After a long time when I visited a place I frequented with someone else, I could see myself at all those other times, sitting at different tables and doing other things. All of those times were happening simultaneously in my head. There were lots of me’s and lots of the other person as well. It made me think does a place hold a memory? When we go somewhere does our presence get registered or absorbed in this secret memory and when we go there again it recognizes us and plays are previous visits on loop? It could be so but then it could just be that we are carrying these with us. Every time we go somewhere we make a new memory and file in the folder called ‘candies’ or ‘bagel shop’! When we go there again the folder opens and we can see its contents. Whether they are supposed to make us happy or sad is completely up to us. But we carry with us this large bag full of memories and people and places. Imagine as we walk we drag along this huge bag and whenever we reach somewhere it opens on its own reveals what it has to and stores what it has to. Once we realize it’s not the place that reminds of things it’s us then we can choose to remove those items from the bag and leave them behind.

When I was at that place yesterday which reminded me of old times and made me sad, I was upset and didn’t know what to do? I thought I could never visit this place again. I really liked that place and wanted to go there without any such thoughts. And so just like that I left all those moving images of me on the different tables and left. I said bye to those guys and they waved back at me knowing they would be happier left behind and not tainted with later events. I emptied my bag a little, felt light and left the place. I am sure when I go there again some other memory will play itself and if it irritates me ill leave it there if it doesn’t I will carefully place it back in my bag and take it home.

 

Yours nostalgically,

VEE.

Bag of Memories!!

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Bliss

The moment

When time stands still

The moment

Is the only thing

That exists

The fleeting thought

Of white clouds

And paradise beyond

Comes to your mind

The moment

When you feel your soul

Smile

The moment when

Only that moment matters

That is the moment

Of pure bliss

And life is just an

Assortment of such moments

Scattered across years

Places and time

Life is just a string

Of moments of pure bliss

A string of moments

Of pure bliss !

 

– Vee!

 

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Real life fairy tale :

August 11 2010 : 12 am

Eeks and Sucks

Sitting in a car

K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

Today is 11 August AGAIN and I have no clue how an entire year passed by. Last year like any other birthday a bunch of us went to eek’s house at 12 to wish her happy birthday. She was out with Sucks and thus was late. Sucks had to give away the surprise because her parents kept calling her. It was all normal, we cut the cake, sang the birthday song and they came to drop me home. On the way eek’s messaged me that she and sucks had kissed when the clock struck 12. They were such good friends that this came as a complete surprise to me. After the initial shock wore off, happiness settled in and all of us were ecstatic for our friends.

Now you would think why am I going on about two people who started seeing each other? Well there is more to this story. If you are a romantic this is going to make your heart melt. On eek’s 21st birthday when the clock struck 12, eeks had her first kiss with sucks and that gradually grew into love. This is as close to a fairytale as life can get. Hearing or talking about this just makes me go all gooey eyed, just like when I watch a romantic movie. Only this isn’t a movie and it all happened around me. Eek’s looked ecstatic; sucks looked like someone had just hit him with a bat (very cartoonish). You can totally imagine them with those concentric circles in their eyes :). The best thing about this story is that it’s been an entire year and these two still look like that sometimes.

I just really wanted to share this story because it’s so beautiful. Everything about it is perfect. It just reinforces ones belief in love. It exists, it’s around and it’s for all of us to see and love. I am quite the romantic and look at life through rose-tinted glasses and stories like these just make the picture rosier :). Not that there aren’t any problems and issues between them but those do not matter as they get over it and still happen to be in love :). Happy day to all and I hope everyone receives their real life fairytale at some point.

Yours dreamily,

VEE. 🙂

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40 days of J:

Mysterious name isn’t it? Clearly inspired by 500 days of summer! Similar story similar end only no one got engaged or married at the end! Anyway so I haven’t updated about this before because I was busy living the phase! And no this not a ‘I’m so sad that ended’ post. This is a ‘I’m going to chronicle this now and smile about it after a few years’ post. So I recently met this really cute guy let’s call him J (if you know him then you know this is not a very original nick name :P). it was like out of the movies. There was a flash of lightning and the guy presented himself, girl and boy locked eyes and voila they were in love and happily ever after. Only this is not a movie plot, it is my life.. so it didn’t quite happen in the same way. We met – we spoke- we met some more- we started seeing each other- behaved starry eyed and cuckoo (the first time for me)- we missed- we fought-we distanced and we ended. That’s pretty much how it happened.

Not that I regret any of this. It was just amazing to feel that rush of emotion when you think you like someone, to look in the mirror and start smiling to yourself, to have your friends teasing you and turning red in the face. It’s just a wonderful phase to be in. But then again you must be intelligent enough to know that it’s just a phase. It’s like the November rain; it starts raining all of a sudden and then it disappears. The only problem is when you don’t expect it to disappear because you think it is the monsoon and not just some random November rain. It was even headier for me because it was the first time in two years I decided to date someone. It took me by surprise and taught me an important lesson in life. According to me everything happens to teach us something. This time I learnt that I must not date someone without getting to know them well and definitely should not have any expectations from anyone so soon. I live in a little bubble and thus god poor thing needs to keep shaking me up and teaching some things every now and then.  It did leave me disappointed but then it also enriched the experience of my life. There is no point blaming anyone or going down the self doubting path, the point is to learn and move on.

So to summarize it : the first 10 days we met each other and fell in love, the next 10 we missed each other and fell in love some more, in the third set we got to know each other a little and in the next 10 do not matter. It was like living something in fast forward, everything happened quickly and then it ended. Anyway it’s over now and this is what I have to say about it: it was great but it wasn’t meant to be, I will move on :). It just transported me to another world for a few days and that journey was definitely worth it all. Life is a journey which is made up of other little journeys. So just like the Sikkim trip this was one of my lovely travels. I’ll be back with tales of more since I’m single again and that’s the start of my other journey. (You could wonder why this was so short and brief because I was trying to share with you the experience of living in it, it’s so short that you don’t even realise when it ends, it feels like a lovely day dream in retrospect, hope you got that).

Cheers to new beginnings,

VEE.

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Rusted brains and Psi (pseudo-intellectual) !!

Hi,

As usual right before my exams my creative energy is great so here I am writing a post instead of studying or sleeping. This one is a very specific post about two guys that I met recently. So the other day I went out with some friends to a local pub called Totos. We were all drinking beer and one of us knew another person and invited him and his friends to join us. It is as this point that my evening started looking different. So these guys came and sat next to me and Psi started chatting with me. He asked me about what I do and looked impressed when I said I’m doing my MA in lit and then stopped talking after that. Later everyone went out for a smoke and now rusted brains sat next to me. The reason I call him this is his name was ‘rusty’ short for Rustem cool isn’t it? Anyway Psi started talking me from one seat away and guess what he spoke about? He wanted to discuss the relevance of cinema as an art form. I kind of puked but continued the conversation. He said he didn’t watch films just for the sake of entertainment and asked me my choices and I’m sure wasn’t very impressed because he made that clear. Anyway so after that he spoke some more about books and art and thrillers and cinema and oh my god he went on this kind of tangent. Mr. rusted wanted to speak about the kind of literature I study like Victorian or romantic … dude the girl is high why do you want to talk academics why?. Anyway so he later also judged my vocabulary when I declared I was high and he wanted to know on what?. Dude this is india we say ‘high’ for being ‘drunk’ and he thought I should know about the British phrases for this since I’m studying English literature. Really now is that what I’m supposed to learn? Oh and important fact both these guys had an accent.

Anyway so the main reason I told you all of this was that I have been thinking. Why do guys or people behave like this? Why do they start spouting intellectual jargon and try to look cool. At least that’s what I thought that he was trying to do.  The other one was judging me according to the degree I’m pursuing. Really what makes people think that I or anyone else would like to talk about academics while drinking or that I would want to show off my knowledge? I don’t get it? I now know the reason why I’ve been single for so long. If this is the way guys approach girls then man no wonder! Why is it that nobody can talk straight it’s either about looking good or judging. Try a different route and maybe you might succeed. But no they will try these tried tested and useless methods and ruin the nights of other people. This is made me really disappointed in the quality and brains of guys out there. Are there any worth it any at all? Okay so I don’t know what this post is exactly about but I guess you will know once you have read it. I’m just voicing my utter disappointment and also at some level amusement with the quick behavior of people these days.

Yours disappointed.

VEE 😦

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