So my friend actually had requested sort of for a vee tale and the last one wasn’t exactly a vee tale. It was just my observation of the world that we are currently living in. children have facebook and twitter accounts before they are born pretty cool? I don’t think so. Anyway so I went on and on about that yesterday and I’m not going to today. Really speaking there is nothing much going on in my life. I mean there are my friends and there is college and stuff but nothing really happening. As I write this all I am thinking is that I feel that my life is fun and happening only if there is a romance angle to it? Is there nothing to my life without the tales of some guy whisking me of feet and then well that not ending too well (that does provide for weeks of thinking). You know first the liking and then the dating then the break up and then the getting over it process. Time consuming I would say. Considering that we start dating at average age of 17-18 and consistently change boyfriends for the next few years then this is the drill that we get used to. In all of this I think we get so used to this being meaning of life and time consolidate our thought process. Only recently have I chanced upon an idyllic time in my life where I have no guy to think about past or present and I am not interested in thinking about the future. But I am so used to associating the awesome quotient in my life with love that I forgot one basic thing: the person living this life is me and what I do in a day or not do is what makes my life not when someone decides to give me attention because I look nice. After being asked ‘are you single?’ a gazillion times I thought that that’s what defined the quality of my life. I guess only now do I realize that it is not so.
With no guy in the picture to think about (this is not an invitation for losers to ask me out, sorry im not available I happen to be more into me now, thank you anyway) I have had time for myself. Not that I didn’t spend time with myself earlier it’s just that it’s an awesome feeling when my mind is not thinking about anyone in particular (loving or hating that person). I have me and my friends and my family to think about. They make my life. I was always so caught up that I didn’t realize the friends that I had left behind and it was my fault. I was too busy thinking about other things and then it just got embarrassing. It is only now that I realized that I actually did miss this person every now and then, I loved shopping for bangles with her. We hung out at JATC and just sat and read together (a reading companion is a rare one trust me). I didn’t realize how much I missed out on in the process of being just caught up in everything else. Time just flew by but when I had time not thinking about other random and stupid things I realized that I cannot treat people like this. Every one tends to at some point but one cannot just cut off all contact with friends because things are rough, that is when you are supposed to reach out to them. Anyway I am an idiot and took time but I am glad I did something. Made me realize that if you had a bond earlier and were genuinely sorry there are chances of becoming friends again. I always thought I should do something but never knew what to. Turns out it took just an email writing what I felt, well that felt good and I am glad I did it. The point being I am happy I am out of that circus and crazy circular pointless thought process and happy I may have managed to rectify some old mistakes. Take some time out and think about yourself the person you love is not the only thing that makes your life awesome. It’s the people who are with you that person is not around that matter. Look around and do not let them go, they are special and we must all keep it that way ..
Again not another vee tale as I would I have liked it to be, I thought ill write about the awesome drinking sessions and the crazy times but then I guess fun is not the only thing in life. Sometimes thinking and acting makes sense. I tend to procrastinate all the time even when there is no need as more time passes it is more difficult for me to get back to it. I am glad I didn’t do that again. So I guess it’s the season of realizations and changes to be made. And damn I thought with all that time I would be drinking a lot more. Hope I do, so that I have crazy stories to tell (till then deal with realizations).
Yours blankly,
VEE.
The Closed Portal 